Gender Roles in Relationships: A Revenge Manifesto

As a man who, on a volunteer basis, writes stories about sexting and refusing to share bacon, it should come as no surprise that I don’t have a lot of money. That being said, I decided to grow up and talk to a financial advisor; what follows is a detailed account of how a massive B-word who is terrible at her job, AKA my financial advisor, accidentally taught me a lesson about gender roles in relationships. Not enough of a lesson to make me feel bad about the B-word comment though, she deserves it.

This story takes place shortly before my most recent break up. I was in a long-term relationship with an older woman and staunch feminist, that being said, our relationship was beyond the parameters of traditional gender roles and all sugar coating aside, she was the man in relationship. Continue reading

Gender Dynamics in Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” and Eliot’s “Adam Bede”

Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice and George Eliot’s Adam Bede seem different on the surface. While Austen’s novel provides a voyeuristic view into the trivial concerns of the idle upper class in Regency England, Eliot’s novel delves in to the dark consequences of Murphy’s Law for the working class of rural Regency England. However, both novels explore the universal fundamentals of what it means to be a man or a woman in the pre-Victorian time period. Though these two novels differ in the level of autonomy granted to the female characters, the consequences of failing to marry and their depiction of strongly defined gender roles, they similarly show female characters that choose their own spouses, maintain a similar societal view of spinsters and work with the same social constructs of gender. The differences shown between the women of different realms of society belonging to the same time period, along with the similarities between the conventions governing the interactions between men and women in both Austen’s Pride and Prejudice and Eliot’s Adam Bede result in two novels that conform to the standard drama of the sexes. Neither of the two novels substantially deviates from the constant that requires a plot involving a relationship between two or more members of the opposite gender to explore gender roles, cast a critical glance at the society the characters exist in and address the repercussions that result from a character deviating from the rules of society. This paper will primarily compare and contrast the characters of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy in Pride and Prejudice with the characters of Adam Bede and Dinah Morris in Adam Bede. Continue reading

Why Get Married?

I grew up with a father telling me “a baby is no reason to get married,” and a mother, married to him, telling me “the only reason to get married is if you want to have children.” Conflicting life lessons aside, they both have strong and valid points. With my own wedding only one week away and no bun in my oven, I, as I’m sure many other couples have, am wondering, why get married in this day and age, in a society that no longer deems is necessary? Continue reading

Premarital Intimacy

There are many conversations that need to be had between a couple that are thinking of forming a small family unit. Throughout our year long engagement, two year cohabitation and total eight year relationship, my fiancé and I feel confident that we have eliminated all possible conflict inducing surprises. We have both watched helplessly as each of our families fell apart and we have seen what can happen when crucial conversations are not had before entering into wedlock with your perceived perfect soul-mate. I may not have more than a few psychology credits in my past but what I do have is experience, and in my experience, the following conversation topics are part of the essential matters that must be discussed before committing to put up with someone for the rest of your lives. Continue reading