Gender Roles in Relationships: A Revenge Manifesto

As a man who, on a volunteer basis, writes stories about sexting and refusing to share bacon, it should come as no surprise that I don’t have a lot of money. That being said, I decided to grow up and talk to a financial advisor; what follows is a detailed account of how a massive B-word who is terrible at her job, AKA my financial advisor, accidentally taught me a lesson about gender roles in relationships. Not enough of a lesson to make me feel bad about the B-word comment though, she deserves it.

This story takes place shortly before my most recent break up. I was in a long-term relationship with an older woman and staunch feminist, that being said, our relationship was beyond the parameters of traditional gender roles and all sugar coating aside, she was the man in relationship. Continue reading

Classically Feminine Stocking Stuffers

We all know that it is the women in our lives that make Christmas happen. They deck the halls, wrap the presents, bake the cookies, get up early to fix the Christmas morning breakfast, remind you to light to Yule log, cook the turkey while you drink the beer, and clean it all up afterwards. Thank the ladies this year by filling their stockings to the brim with feminine treats. All items on this list are under $15.

Continue reading

A Plea for Real Beauty

This article has been a long time coming. Both of my parents have suggested it to me independently of each other, my mother being inspired by a conversation with a stranger about the colour of her hair and my father being inspired by, what else, a conversation about breast implants that he had had with an acquaintance. They both believe in real beauty and I guess they practice what they preach, seeing as how they raised me, a young woman who can boast about being 100% natural and complete (and peanut free) … except for that bit of ink in my back and that metal in my ear lobes and navel. Of course, this addendum raises a tough question for me; what exactly is real, natural beauty? Continue reading

How to Get Along with Other Women

I have always had a hard time making friends within my own gender. I see myself as a fairly feminine person, but, for some reason, I just feel more at ease and free to be myself around masculine people. I always thought that this was the key to forging bonds with other humans, feeling comfortable enough to let down your guard and be yourself, your horrible, horrible self, so you can see why I am more able to make man friends than girl friends – but it goes deeper than that. In my years long, twelve dollar, comprehensive study, I have discovered that the secret to the initial stage of making a female friend is to not be yourself, at least until you’ve tricked her into thinking you are a little bit normal. Continue reading