My husband and I are approaching our paper anniversary this weekend and I, for one, am very excited. Throughout our decade long courtship, we would get each other what ever little gift caught our fancy to commemorate the day we started dating until the tedious strangeness of shopping without each other and the difficulty of keeping the gift a secret got the better of us and we just stopped buying gifts. We didn’t stop acknowledging the day, but around year six, it started feeling odd and immature to celebrate a day neither of us could fully remember, and which bore little significance to our lives. It wasn’t like we were celebrating a thoughtful commitment, we were celebrating the day that he ask me a “rhetorical question” and I said something like, “yeah, sure.” This is why I was very excited to start the anniversary counter back to zero when we got married. I continue to be excited for being able to choose a meaningful gift based on tradition instead of a useless gift based on my panicked ideas the day I realize our anniversary is tomorrow. I am determined to stick to the traditional gifts due at every marriage milestone, not only because I think it will be fun, but also because I get teary eyed thinking about exchanging gold with my beloved husband 49 years from now. The following is a handy, comprehensive chart of anniversary gifts by year of marriage, complete with suggestions.

1^st anniversary: Paper

The first anniversary is commonly celebrated with friends and family, as the newlywed excitement is still in the air.

For the Couple:

• A simple card (you just got them something nice last year, how much do they need?)

For her:

• A book, esp. a cookbook (totally not insulting if she enjoys cooking)
• Stationery

For him:

• A book
• Cigars

2^nd anniversary: Cotton

As less exciting anniversaries, the second through fourth are usually celebrated by the couple alone.

            For her:

• A new dress (you should know her size by now)

For him:

• A new dress shirt
• A cotton pocket square (the silk one he bought to match the wedding colours you selected is probably the only one he owns, buy him a nice “everyday” one in cotton)

3^rd anniversary: Leather

For her:

• Shoes! (or a gift card for her favourite shoe store, shoes are hard)

For him:

• A leather band wrist watch
• A leather bound addition of his favourite book
• A leather jacket

4^th anniversary: Linen

For her:

• A cute linen nightgown
• Those ornate bed linens she wants that you don’t understand

Necessary.

For him:

• Linen pajama pants for hot summer nights at the cottage
• That weird Ikea duvet cover that only he would like (and he tells you every time you go)

5^th anniversary: Wood

By year five, a milestone has been reached and friends and family care to celebrate with you again.

For the Couple:

• Wood aged spirits (wood is weird, okay?)
• Family heirloom furniture

For her:

• Furniture for her dressing room/area (a vanity table or a pretty chair)

For him:

• Tools for use with wood
• A commemorative sapling for the yard

6^th anniversary: Iron/sugar

Again, until your tenth anniversary, your friends and family don’t find you interesting and so the sixth through ninth anniversaries will be intimately celebrated.

            For her:

• Decorative iron garden décor
• Cast iron casserole/ Dutch oven

For him:

• Homemade candy
• Cast iron frying pan (perfect for grilled cheese, and what man doesn’t love grilled cheese?)

7^th anniversary: Wool/copper

For her:

• Copper cookware

For him:

• A smart wool cardigan

8^th anniversary: Bronze

For her & him:

• A second honeymoon to the Mediterranean!

9^th anniversary: Pottery

For her:

• Vintage cosmetic jars and pots (to decorate that renovated bathroom)
• A new serving pitcher (the one she got nine years ago is looking pretty old)

For him:

• A beer stein

10^th anniversary: Tin/aluminum

Time to party again.

For the Couple:

• A keg of beer (hey, it comes wrapped in aluminum)

For her:

• An aluminum ice bucket
• Install a nice tin tile ceiling or backsplash (if she’s in to that sort of thing)

Who couldn’t be in to this sort of thing?

For him:

• A nice, manly flashlight

11^th anniversary: Steel

For her:

• Fancy new kitchen knives

For him:

• Steak knives
• A cocktail shaker
• A nice shaving set

12^th anniversary: Silk

For her:

• Silk bed sheets
• A silk dressing gown

For him:

• A Silk tie (“the best ties are made of silk” – my husband)
• A silk scarf (to wear with his tuxedo, of course)

Just like the Doctor.

13^th anniversary: Lace

For her:

• Lace lingerie

For him:

• Lace lingerie (to be worn by her)

14^th anniversary: Ivory

Today ivory is illegal and immoral, I say skip the ivory and get some Amarula and make a donation to an elephant cause together instead. . . but if you must:

            For her:

• Antique ivory jewellery (be careful, it might be illegal)

For him:

• A meerschaum tobacco pipe (looks like ivory, but doesn’t kill any elephants)

15^th anniversary: Crystal

Another milestone, the 15^th anniversary is shared with friends and family and celebrated with a party.

For the Couple:

• Crystal punch bowl set (they’ve finally gotten to that age where they don’t have to worry about things getting broken at parties anymore)
• Crystal relish/ hors d’oeuvres plate

For her:

• Vintage champagne glasses (not flutes)

For him:

• Crystal whiskey decanter and set of tumblers.

20^th anniversary: China

            The 25^th anniversary is also another important milestone to be celebrated.

For the Couple:

• Dessert or tea sets (these are less likely to be owned already and matter less if they match the dinner set or not)
• China salt and pepper shakers (easy to match since they come in plain white, and two sets on a table would not be odd, if they already owned one)

For her:

• Replace broken china pieces (show her you know what your set is supposed to include)

For him:

• The gravy boat to complete your set (or a second gravy boat, men love gravy)

25^th anniversary: Silver

            The 25^th anniversary is the last one for the next 25 years that gets a party.

For the Couple:

• A silver platter
• A silver picture frame

For her:

• A proper silverware set
• Silver candlestick holders

For him:

• A silver pen
• A silver tie bar

30^th anniversary: Pearl

The years are running together now, if you are lucky enough to have made it this far, anniversaries are privately celebrated only every five years now, in the traditional sense, and publicly celebrated every 25.

            For her:

• The classic pearl necklace
• Pearl earrings

For him:

• Mother of pearl cheese knife set

35^th anniversary: Coral/jade

For her:

• Jewellery (for the next 35 years, I’m afraid)

For him:

• Vacation to China or the Great Barrier Reef

40^th anniversary: Ruby

For her:

• Jewellery (rubies look best in necklaces)

Just a couple hundred-thousand dollars out of my price range.

For him:

• Ruby cufflinks (rubies look great with dark suits and tuxedos)

45^th anniversary: Sapphire

For her:

• Jewellery (sapphires look best in rings)

Take a cue from Kate Middleton.

For him:

• A wrist watch with sapphire accents

50^th anniversary: Gold

The 50^th wedding anniversary is a grand achievement, celebrated with children, grandchildren and lifelong friends.

For the Couple:

• A gold anniversary clock (does not need to be real gold)

For her:

• Jewellery
• New wedding rings (if the old ones aren’t out of style by now, you should at least be able to afford something nicer than the ones you bought 50 years ago)

For him:

• A gold pocket watch

55^th anniversary: Emerald

For her:

• Jewellery (emeralds look best in pendent earrings)

For him:

• An emerald tie pin

60^th anniversary: Diamond (new tradition)

With couples marrying later in life (and divorce) few couples make it to the old tradition diamond anniversary at the 75^th year of marriage. This, in conjunction with Queen Victoria celebrating her Diamond Jubilee at the 60^th year or her reign, many now recognise the 60^th anniversary as the diamond anniversary.

            For her:

• Jewellery (diamonds look good in everything, but I especially adore diamond stud earrings and diamond bracelets)

For him:

• Jewellery (cufflinks, tie bar or watch)

70^th anniversary: Platinum

For her:

• Jewellery (everything looks good in platinum)

For him:

• A platinum bar (investments are important)

75^th anniversary: Diamond (old tradition)

            If they make it this far, why not diamonds again? They deserve it.

For the Couple:

• Have everybody go in on a piece of jewellery made with the birth stones of all of the matron’s children or grandchildren

For her:

• A new diamond ring (so she can give her old one to her grandson to propose to his girl already)

For him:

• Give the man some whiskey, he’s earned it!

80^th anniversary: Oak

For her & him:

• A nice oak bed frame, suitable for a Tempur-Pedic mattress (honestly, if I make it past 100, this is the only thing made of oak that I think I will ever want)