Friendsgiving at the Cottage

Friendsgiving at the Cottage \\ Sophster-Toaster Blog

For the past three years, the hubs and I have been spending Thanksgiving weekend at the cottage with our closest friends. For this reason, it has since become my favourite holiday.

The tradition started when the hubs and I were newly married and facing the annual decision to stay home and do a small fancier-than-usual dinner for two, or travel back home to be interlopers at the homes and developing traditions of cousins who had become the keystones of new family units, aunts who had become the new matriarchs of their families, or a step-relations who hadn’t formally invited us. Neither of us really enjoyed Thanksgiving that much growing up and we didn’t have many memories of the holiday so we decided to change that by doing what we really wanted to for the holiday. We agreed that the people we wanted to spend the day with were our friends and the place we wanted to spend it at was our beloved cottage.

Friendsgiving at the Cottage \\ Sophster-Toaster Blog

Photo by Mitch Hanna.

Friendsgiving at the Cottage \\ Sophster-Toaster BlogFriendsgiving at the Cottage \\ Sophster-Toaster Blog

We invited a large selection of friends the first year, hoping to find at least one or two people who would also be spending the holiday alone. Two people is exactly how many we found. We spent the long weekend, Saturday to Monday, together in my husband’s grandmother’s cottage next door because the cottage we usually stay in (and are currently trying to buy) is much more rustic and not yet insulated against the cold October nights. We cooked a modest meal, played board games and learned that we shouldn’t do puzzles together.

Friendsgiving at the Cottage \\ Sophster-Toaster BlogFriendsgiving at the Cottage \\ Sophster-Toaster Blog

News and pictures from our first real adult Thanksgiving spread and the next year more friends were looking to give up their childhood obligations of gathering around an overcooked turkey with people they only talk to when they have to in favour of what we had now started calling Friendsgiving. In the second year, we added two more friends – one being my brother – and an extra day. On the last evening, my mother-in-law and her husband joined us to have their own Thanksgiving during the week.

Friendsgiving at the Cottage \\ Sophster-Toaster Blog

Photo by Brett Didemus.

DSC_0075_DxO Friendsgiving at the Cottage \\ Sophster-Toaster Blog

This year, we had one regular attendee who couldn’t make it and gained a new first-timer. My in-laws enjoyed being part of our celebration so much that they decided to overlap with us again this year. The hubs and I have recently taken up a regular hiking hobby so we choose one of the many trails surrounding the small town nearest the cottage and invited our guests to join us. Surprisingly, everyone took us up on the invitation, the whole time saying, “we’ve got to do this again next year”.

Friendsgiving at the Cottage \\ Sophster-Toaster Blog Friendsgiving at the Cottage \\ Sophster-Toaster Blog

Photo by Matt Harrison.

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Photo by Mitch Hanna.

All others by me.

Summer Vacation

My family didn’t travel much when I was a kid, and if we did, it was only to nearby camp grounds and the like. I’ve only been on a plane once (or twice if you count the flight home) when my mom took me and my brother to Disney World for my twelfth birthday. Some poor guy died on the previous flight of the plane we were trying to board at the end of the trip. We had to wait for him to be removed and I guess they had no other choice but to wheel him right through the room of waiting passengers. It was a weird experience and my strongest memory of the trip. I’ve been to New York State about a dozen times and Quebec twice, but that’s about it. To quote April Wheeler in Revolutionary Road, “I’ve never really been anywhere.”

My husband and I have travel goals, but something always seems to trump them when it comes time to plan the yearly budget. That’s why we relish our one week of summer vacation spent, every year, up north at the cottage. We established the tradition when we were in college, every year taking as many friends as we could comfortably fit – and sometimes more – in the two cottages previously owned by my husband’s great-grandparents. My husband and I have spent time up there together as a couple of kids, as an engaged couple and as husband and wife.

The cottages were left in trust to my husband’s generation and have been managed and cared for by my mother-in-law since before my husband was born. A little while ago, the time felt right for my mother-in-law to pass the ancestral property on to my husband and anyone else who was interested in taking on the responsibility of caring for a place with so much family history. It was also time for her to take over the cottage down the path, previously owned by her parents. Although we are still waiting for all the legal stuff to go through, my husband thought it only right to start working on the maintenance and preservation of the property.

Luckily we have friends who have come to cherish the place almost as much as we have and who were happy to help with the less-fun aspects of owning a cottage.

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Though I can’t image why.

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I mean, there’s no TV, no computer, we only just got cell service and internet last year, the nearest town is an hour away and the cottage is only accessible by boat. There’s nothing to do.

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(Photo: Brett Didemus)

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Cottage Country Menu Planning II

This year we’ve got a professional chef coming with us on the annual summer cottage trip, but the menu hasn’t changed much because when asked what we should bring to the cottage, this friend of 18 years replied, “meat and fire”. I was also told that I did not bring enough bacon last year, so I’ve doubled it for this year because, hey, double the bacon, double the fun. As always, I’ve also tried to sneak as many seasonal fruits and vegetables into my friends as possible. Continue reading