Canada is a big country with a comparatively small population living above some very rowdy neighbours. We’ve got a lot going on up here, but no one seems to notice when that bigger family downstairs is famous for all the great contributions they’ve made to the community but also has a history of starting fires that threaten to burn down the whole house. There’s a lot of misinformation when it comes to Canada, so I’m here today, while we celebrate the birth of our nation, to clear up some of those rumours and submit some unverified, but still totally true*, facts that all Canadians can agree upon.
*not true at all
- John A. MacDonald, our first Prime Minister, was actually a beaver. It’s a large part of the Canadian identity.
2. Today we elect human leaders but still try to pick the person who best personifies the ideals of the mighty beaver.
3. However, our navy is still led by beavers.
4. We asked nicely for our freedom and it was politely granted.
5. All corgis are representatives of The Queen in Canada and must be treated as such.
6. It snows all the time, except for a quick too weeks in July.
7. Canada is the biggest country in the world and touches every ocean.
8. We have a chain restaurant that only serves poutine and it’s the first place many of us eat upon returning from a vacation, even if we didn’t leave the country. They have the best vegetarian gravy.
9. We kind of burned down the White House a while back. It wasn’t really us because we were British at the time, but we still bring it up whenever America tries to diss us.
10. If something terrible were to happen, we hold a lot of the world’s fresh water supply and that is a very comforting fact.
11. We don’t understand Fahrenheit, miles, or any other America Units and are very confused when we cross the border.
12. I know people who put maple syrup in their coffee.
13. I don’t know what Canadian bacon is. We don’t have that here. Some people say it’s peameal bacon but it doesn’t really look like that either. It’s a mystery.
14. My dad was the first person to wear a Canadian tuxedo.
15. A lot of us grew up with more British movies, television and books than American, and more American than Canadian, and feel like we’re kind of a child of all three cultures.
16. A lot of people do say “eh”.
17. There are a few Canadian accents, but what you’re thinking of is probably an American midwestern accent.
18. We have the world’s most attractive population thanks to our strong multiculturalism.
19. There is a weird “rock and roll” version of the Canadian National Anthem played on an electric guitar that schools will sometimes play to spice things up in the morning.
20. Canada smells like fresh pine and pancakes.
21. Starting an interaction with the word “sorry” is normal.
22. We recently had to legally determine that apologizing is not an admission of fault, it’s called the Apology Act.
23. We lock our doors when we leave but not when we’re home. We’ve recently been told that’s weird.
24. We have deer flies the size of small dogs.
25. Some of these facts are 100% true.
Photos by me and Matt Harrison.